me to marketing: do you guys still use site X for staging? because y'all have done a shit job of keeping that tool updated and now it's insecure as shit.
marketing: we don't know if we use that site
me: *mildly dumbfounded by that response* okay, how about you discuss amongst yourselves until you figure that out; i'll give you until the end of the day to either pony up credentials to that tool or i'm deleting it before the fucking chinese take it over to sell knockoff raybans. like they did to the other environment i yelled at you guys about being insecure for literally years and you did nothing about it and it got taken over and i had to drop everything to fix THAT two weeks ago.
time goes by... so slowly
marketing: the new marketing manager says she totally uses that site all the time and we definitely need to keep it around
me: ...... ooooookay, how the fuck does she login into it?
marketing: we don't know, aren't YOU the people who track all of that?
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
Am I... am I through the looking glass or something today? I have, no shit, NINE fucking emails going to no less than six people today all of which are basically me begging: Do you use this? Yes? Great, give me your login so I can get in there and secure it.
And I still don't have that info. I don't use this shit and have been adamant about not supporting it because, as much as I don't like to pull the "not my job" card on people, this is the dictionary picture of "not my job". It's literally a terrible use of the company's money to have me spend time on this. And yet, because I care, I point out "hey, thing X is still about as secure as an open purse showing a wallet and iPhone inside sitting unattended on a New Orleans outdoor patio table during Mardi Gras" to them, as a prod to, I dunno, maybe do something about it. Then I graduate to offering to just fucking do it because Jesus FUCKING Christ.
And, even in this act of charity, I am just fucking stymied at every turn. It has taken every ounce of my admittedly-poor self-control to not send these fucking dopes an email that would almost definitely get me fired over this.
I'm just gonna get "Help Me Help You" tattooed on my forehead and see if that registers.
Sorry. No greater point or moral to be had here, just had to get this out of my body and onto someplace else before I screamed.