ess emm arr

Just a home on the web where I write whatever comes to mind. Like we all used to do back in the day before The Algos came and destroyed everything good about the internet.

Subscribe via RSS here

Cancer Diaries V: The Blood Must Flow

In general, I feel very lucky at how this whole "having cancer" experience has gone so far; others, including some folks I know personally who are Going Through It at the moment, have it way worse. That said... Could SOMEBODY have maybe warned me that I would be firing chunky blood bullets out of my dick a few weeks after the operation? I swear, in all the documentation, phone calls, visits, etc., I've had about this goddamned surgery, never once did "oh uh the surgery scabs inside of you where we sliced out an organ? those gotta leave you somehow,...

September 23rd, 2026 cancer

Cancer Diaries IV: A Pained Sigh of Relief

Six days ago, I crawled under a man-sized spider-looking robot in a hospital surgical arena and surrendered to the gas. I came outta there sans prostate (and sans more blood than my doc expected; sorry about that). I also had a tube jammed up my dick, a shaved midsection, and more holes in me than I care to or normally have. I also have a very good prognosis, based on the pathology report that indicates very highly that all of the cancer was contained in the prostate with no escape, and since the prostate no longer resides inside of me,...

September 1st, 2026 cancer

Cancer Diaries III: Even More Calls, But Nobody's Answering

There are endless small indignities to having to utilize American health care to attend to a major health issue in 2026, but I'm currently on hold (20 minutes and counting) with my hospital's finance department for unknown reasons and I'm about to lose my shit. For one: I owe no current money, having made a painfully large payment yesterday so I have no idea what this call could possibly be about, but they keep auto-calling me so I decided to pick this one up. For two: they auto-call, and waste your time by first stating "call us back immediately at...

August 18th, 2026 cancer

Cancer Diaries II: So. Many. Calls.

So I'm still in the decision phase of treatment (which boils down to: radiation vs. surgery. A real Sophie's Choice, to be honest), but the one thing that's already just weighing me down, which will come as no surprise to anyone who's ever had a medical problem ever, is: the fucking commo. It's not just the calls with an actual doctor of some sort; it's EVERYTHING. I get a text from my medical provider telling me to login to their portal because I have a new message. I try to login and it has to send me a text with...

July 15th, 2026 cancer

Things I Like: My macOS Start/Stop Work Shortcut

It's the little things, really... When Apple released the Shortcuts app for the Mac (3 years after releasing it for their mobile OSes, the jerks [yes, I know we had Automator before that but Shortcuts fills, I think, a different niche]), I didn't have much use for it. My file operations are covered by Hazel automations that I've had forever, and I struggled to think of any use for Shortcuts. I do my job from home, from my own computers. Yes, my workplace provides me a laptop, but I'm a dainty fancy lad, and I like to work on what...

July 1st, 2026 tech